no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
