On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Operation Purity has been aborted
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
