Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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