Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
