yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
