i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
