margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
