I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
