i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Randomize
