i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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