you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
