Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Are my feet made of real feet?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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