I feel like abortions should bother me more
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He shit in the fireplace
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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