Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
