The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
