It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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