This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
