its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
