handjob tips. give me some.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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