I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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