Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
