The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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