so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
