why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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