planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
