Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
