someone threw a dead crab at me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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