omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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