So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
