too bad you live with your parents still
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My vagina is officially offended.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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