Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
