I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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