You really coming over, don't trick.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
