I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
