Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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