waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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