The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
