It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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