I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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