Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize