Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
