we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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