Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
