Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my liver is dry heaving
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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