I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
