Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
