none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
