So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
