She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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