Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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