Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
