i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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