I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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