ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
