This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize