Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
