I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
