I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
