At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
