I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
