the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So many bounce houses so little time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
