8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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