In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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