none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize