Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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