We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
