u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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