how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
