i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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