Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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