It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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