he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
