he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
