I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
