at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
