My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
