Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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