Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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