her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
