I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
